For whatever reason, gambling is what is at the forefront of my mind. I have this supreme manifestation cooking up, postively braising in conscious, intentional-will: I am going to play poker and I am going to make an absolute go of it. You see, despite my spawn point being somewhere in the South, I ended up in the desert of sin where gambling was the greatest industry above all. I grew up surrounded by it in grocery stores and gas stations. I stayed insulated from it until just a year or so ago now. I ventured to a casino they'd let me play in (my closest isn't an option) and sat down at a table and before I knew it $60 became $400 and then $1000. Of course, the house always wins, we know this, I gave them back the whole band and then some but it never got out of hand. There is something to be noticed there. Maybe I am deluding myself; that might be what I would think if I believed in delusion the way I was told I'm supposed to ... lucky for me, I don't. I am going to play, I am going to win, I am going to be rich and famous beyond my wildest dreams. It's like planting a garden. The intention and attention I generate through my conscious experience simply must go somewhere at the end of the day -- whether it would normally be stolen by the sandpaper-treadmill that is traditional employment or through the siren's call scam of the entire concept of social media, I am being leeched upon by forces that existed and may go onto exist after me.
"The only way to win is not to play."
So then ... I will not play the way I was told I was supposed to; thus far I haven't anyway. To an outside perspective, maybe it might seem like I'm operating the way I'm supposed to. I sit in an office 40 hours a week, I have seven or ten or more bills to pay each month, I get my hair cut and got married and fill my car up with gas like every other Joe on the street, but where I'm different, and this is just from my perspective, is that it seems I feel like I know what's going on around here. At this point, I feel perfectly comfortable saying that nearly everything I was taught was a lie. I am operating in a world that is run by liars. It is a world of predators exacting their will on their prey and few, if any at all, have any leverage to stop or change it. When humanity managed to put forward good candidates with good ideas they nearly all met similar outcomes. I know for a fact that infinite resources and energy already exists within human grasp. Even if it's as simple in form as just using way, way, way more solar panels across the world; but if it were infinitely more complicated, supressed for "fear" that it would "destroy the system" then that would surprise me even less. Quantum mechanics, the double-slit experiment, the observer causing the waveform to collapse, in whatever way this all ties together, it is to say, it tells my gut to play No Limit Texas Hold'em for reasonable buy-in levels. It tells me to study. To observe the winners and be a winner and then observe the amazing things that result. The only thing standing in the way of anyone's luck is themselves. Luck is an outcome of riding the wave of entropy -- or something like that.
For whatever reason, or maybe it is all the reasons, I can't possibly know, but I am going to be a big time poker player. If this world goes on and on like it's supposed to, if someone doesn't hit the button that says "End", then I'm going to keep studying, and improving, and someday, be sitting across from Negreanu, won't even mind if I take second against him at the WSOP.
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